Brian Battles Bureaucracy (Part 1)

     So on November First, Twenty-Ten, I was served. No not that I got pwned in a dance battle, as in I received a subpoena. And so in order to respond to it, I have to go to the Van Nuys Municipal Court House. Problem is I now live approximately 40 miles East of there. So today I woke up at 6AM and had my mom give me a lift to the Gold Line station on her way to work. So taking that all the way to Union Station, then hop on the subway to the North Hollywood Station, and take the Orange Line to the Van Nuys Court House. This trek took me a little over an hour, not too shabby. The fun really began off the bus. I had never before been to the court house, having never needed to prior to now. Fortunately, I did however know the general area. So I get off the bus and walk a block North to the court house area to find numerous buildings set up in a similar fashion to that of a college campus, so I say to myself, "Great! I have to find the clerks office out of these dozen buildings." So I look around at each building trying to guess where I need to go. I stumble upon a building made of glass and steel, much more modern architecture to the more elaborate stone buildings that fill up most of the judicial campus, and it said, "Van Nuys Municipal Courthouse." So I say hot dog to myself and walk through the doors to find myself in line for a metal detector. Wasn't what I was expecting, but understandable. So puzzled beyond my liking I try to find a directory, no such luck. So I go up the escalator to find a line covering the whole floor. Again puzzled, and now dumbfounded, I set forth to see if I am in the right place. I scour the floor looking for information signs or an employee to ask, again no such luck. Then I see how the clerk windows are sectioned into three parts. But once again I find myself dumbfounded since I only saw signs for two lines, and of course I needed the seemingly non-existent line. So I get into the longest line because window 11 was classified under the section I needed to be in line for but wasn't sure if in the right place because the line I was waiting in said it was for traffic related inquiries from windows 1 - 11. So I wait about 20 minutes in the line and converse with some line goers after being asked if this was the line to pay for a traffic ticket. I said I assume so even though thats not why I was in line. (I thought to myself how funny it is that no one really knows where to go in this place and how there's not really any way to find out.) I then realized before waiting eight eons in line to be told to wait in another line I decided to search once more for the fabled missing line. Lo and behold! I found it, problem was was that there was no wait, hence there wasn't a third line, so I walk up to the girl at the window to find out that I know her! Turns out we both work at Universal Studios Hollywood together, how serendipitous!
     So I hand her my paperwork and ask if I'm in the right place, she takes a look, and as luck would have it, I'm not even in the right building. So she directs me to the right building and we say how nice it was to see each other. I then leave and walk through another metal detector, reminder: don't wear a belt with a buckle, unnecessary hassle. I then find the clerk's office and find virtually no wait, I get my form I needed the clerk said to fill it out and return it. I left the desk and discovered, I don't have a pen on me. Smart right? So I ask another clerk if I could borrow a pen, permission denied. He did, however, tell me that on the second floor I could purchase one for maybe 50¢. So I scamper upstairs, again puzzled, I ask the sheriff/ security guard where this fable from the clerk downstairs can come true, he says to try the cafeteria behind him. I peruse the items in the cafeteria to find nothing beyond eatable products.
    I then precede to leave the building to maybe find a 7-Eleven on Van Nuys Blvd. I then run into a man that hands me a business card for paralegal assistance, or some such matter, and I ask if I can borrow a pen, and he was so kind to have a pen I could borrow. So I sit down at the nearest bench, whip out my paperwork, stare at it, and realize I have no idea how to fill it out properly. There's something High School Life Skills class can teach you, how to fill out legal documents. The man who I borrowed the pen says that I should take the forms home and get them copied. Frustrated at how I can't accomplish my task all today, I return the man's pen to him and set forth to gallivant in the San Fernando Valley with the rest of my day before returning home in the evening to ask my mom how to properly fill out the form.
     Now with the form filled out, I now set my sights for tomorrow where I get to do it ALL over again. Round two! Bring it on!